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Subtitles for The Song of the Cheese Spirit (1997)


English
October 17 2023 11:45:08
Created by Niffiwan
Pesn o syrnom dukhe.1997.en.1.25fps.1697543108.srt ⭳
Quality: good

Translated while keeping the original rhyme scheme, and also being as close as possible to the original text.

Due to the flow of the film, not only did the LINES have to be in the same place as they are in the original poem, but many of the WORDS also had to occupy the same syllable. This was far from easy and took over a year. But as a result, this is likely the closest existing English version of Krylov's poem, though perhaps it's not so easily appreciated in the film (due to the long pauses between some of the lines)

Compare to two other translations on RuVerses that couldn't be used for the movie, because they veered too far from the original:
1, 2 (a few ideas from this one were used - it works well as an English poem, but it doesn't keep to the same rhyme & rhythm, nor stick as closely to the original events):

The Fox and the Crow

Oft has the world heard words like these:
"Flattery's vile!", and yet, it's still a potent art -
A liar's sure to find a place in someone's heart.

A crow, by grace of God, obtained a piece of cheese;
She scaled a fir-tree and, at last,
Was just about to break her fast,
But had a thought, the cheese still in her bill.
Not far away, a fox was running up the hill;
Ah! What a scent... the odour stops the fox.
The fox looks, sees the cheese; the cheese entices, mocks.
The rogue advances to the fir-tree on tip-toe;
She twirls her tail, her eyes fixed on the crow,
And gently says, in accents low and clear: —
"My songstress, you are such a dear!
Your neck's so fine, your eyes so pretty!
Your fame would spread through any city!
What pretty feathers! What a bill!
And doubtless, your angelic voice is finer still!
Sing, sunshine, don't be shy! If, sister, in your leisure,
Your beauty were abetted by song that gave us pleasure, —
You'd be the queen of birds, my treasure!"
The harbinger's head spun from such effusive praise,
It took her breath away, her crop filled with elation, —
And, answering the words that set her pride ablaze,
The vain crow cawed out loud with full determination:
The cheese fell — that fox slick
Made off with it right quick.


There are two funny puns that couldn't be translated - first, the Russian word for "spirit" (dukh) can also mean "scent" (hence the film's title, and the "smell" of the cheese looking like a ghost). Second, at 4:20, the crow is dangling her sock above the fox - Russian word for nose/bill "nosok" (which is what the poem intends) happens to be the same as the word for "sock"

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