1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,200 SOYUZMULTFILM Puppetfilm association 1964 2 00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:08,783 1763 Polzunov's steam engine 3 00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:10,992 1776 Kulibin's wooden one-arched bridge 4 00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:12,667 1801 Artamonov's bicycle 5 00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:14,458 1833 Cherepanov locomotive 6 00:00:14,583 --> 00:00:16,667 1878 A.F. Mozhayskiy's flying machine 7 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,333 1881 Kibalchich's aeronautic device 8 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:23,750 This film is dedicated to the wonderful Russian craftsmen of the past, present and future. 9 00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:26,833 LEFTY after the story by N.S. Leskov 10 00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:32,958 The tale of how Tula craftsmen shoed an English steel flea 11 00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:37,417 Scenario and Direction IVAN IVANOV-VANO 12 00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:41,500 Director: Vladimir Danilevich Composer: Aleksandr Aleksandrov 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,542 Art directors: Marina Sokolova, Arkadiy Tyurin, Anatoliy Kuritsyn 14 00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:49,583 Camera: Iosif Golomb Sound: Boris Filchikov 15 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,533 Animators: Yuriy Norshteyn, Galina Zolotovskaya, 16 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,208 Lev Zhdanov, Kirill Malyantovich, Mihail Botov 17 00:00:55,292 --> 00:00:58,867 Background artists: T. Zuykova, G. Nevzorova, Aleksandr Gorbachyov, 18 00:00:58,917 --> 00:01:02,500 Vladimir Sobolev, Vladimir Alisov, V. Rodzhero, A. Volkov 19 00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:05,408 Puppets and decor: V. Cherkinskaya, Liliana Lyutinskaya, 20 00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:08,200 Svetlana Znamenskaya, Oleg Masainov, N. Budylova, 21 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,992 Yu. Benkevich, M. Spasskaya, Vladimir Abakumov 22 00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:15,075 Script editor: Natalya Abramova Montage: N. Mayorova 23 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:18,367 State Cinematographic Symphony Orchestra Conductor: G. Gamburg 24 00:01:18,417 --> 00:01:20,783 Narrator: D. Zhuravlyov 25 00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:23,667 Production director: Natan Bitman 26 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:46,250 [Paris City, 1815] 27 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:53,875 When the Emperor Aleksandr Pavlovich 28 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:59,125 ended the military campaign of 1812, 29 00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:04,750 he got the idea of travelling about Europe, 30 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:10,375 to see what marvels could be seen in the various realms. 31 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,042 He journeyed through all lands, and 32 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,908 everywhere, by reason of his amiability, [Dresden City] 33 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,333 had heart-to-heart talks with all sorts of people... [Vienna City] 34 00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:30,208 And everyone surprised him with something [Leipzig City] 35 00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:33,708 and sought to incline him to their side, [Amsterdam City] 36 00:02:33,958 --> 00:02:37,750 but he had with him a Don Cossack named Platov 37 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,875 who did not like this inclination; 38 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,375 And if Platov should notice 39 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,250 that the Sovereign was interested in something foreign, [London, 1816] 40 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,792 he would go up to him and say, 41 00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:53,167 "That's all right, of course, but ours at home are just as good." 42 00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:58,000 But then the English invited the Sovereign 43 00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,792 to their arsenals, 44 00:03:00,917 --> 00:03:04,125 armories, shops, soapworks and everywhere else 45 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:08,283 in order to demonstrate their superiority over us in all things 46 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,917 and boast of it. 47 00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:09,083 [English Cabinet of Curiosities] 48 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:15,708 They arrived at a huge building 49 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:18,625 with an indescribable entrance, 50 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:21,292 corridors without end, 51 00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:24,417 rooms one after another, 52 00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:48,792 "A-ah-ah-ah..." 53 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:53,208 The Sovereign was very pleased with all this: "Ah - ah - ah! 54 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,917 Ah - ah - ah!" 55 00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:58,450 But Platov strode along with downcast eyes 56 00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,283 as though he beheld nothing 57 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,125 and merely twisted his whiskers into rings. 58 00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,833 They came to the main hall. 59 00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:33,117 The English immediately began to show them all sorts of marvels 60 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,867 and explain to what ends they were adapted 61 00:05:35,917 --> 00:05:38,083 in military matters. 62 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:41,792 All this delighted the Sovereign greatly: "Ah - ah - ah!" 63 00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:45,075 everything seemed to him very good: "Ah - ah - ah!" 64 00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:47,667 but Platov preserved his apathy, 65 00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,000 as if nothing of this meant anything to him. 66 00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:54,158 The Sovereign said: "How is this possible?" 67 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:56,492 "Why is there such unfeelingness in you?" 68 00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:59,667 "Is there really nothing here that astonishes you?" 69 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,533 And Platov replied: 70 00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:04,283 "Only one thing here astonishes me: 71 00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:08,833 that my dashing lads of the Don made war without all this 72 00:06:08,958 --> 00:06:12,000 and drove twelve nations out of our country." 73 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:18,458 The Sovereign said: "That's all prejudice." 74 00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:24,792 But the Englishmen, noticing the dissension between them, 75 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:30,292 took them straight to the statue of Apollo Belvedere. 76 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,500 "This pistol", the Englishmen said, 77 00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:37,992 "is of unknown, inimitable workmanship - 78 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:44,333 one of our admirals snatched it from the belt of a pirate captain at Calabria." 79 00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:48,417 "Ah, ah, ah!" gasped the Sovereign in amazement, "How can this be? 80 00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:51,958 How is it even possible to work so delicately? 81 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:55,792 If I had just one such craftsman in Russia 82 00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:59,250 I should be very happy and proud 83 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:03,650 and I would instantly make that man a noble." 84 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:07,575 The English protested: "It can't be taken apart!" 85 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:11,492 "Oh, we'll manage" replied Platov. 86 00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:13,408 [Made by Ivan Moskvin, Tula] 87 00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:16,917 The Sovereign said sadly to Platov: "Ah, ah, ah! 88 00:07:17,042 --> 00:07:22,458 Why did you have to upset them; I'm so sorry for them now." 89 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:26,125 "Oho, have we blundered!" 90 00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:30,083 Then they said to the Sovereign: 91 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:34,625 "Now we will present you with a true technical marvel". 92 00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:38,833 The Sovereign asked: "What does this mean?" 93 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,783 "Can you, please", said the English master artisan, "see that speck?" 94 00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:47,075 "What do I want a speck of dust for?" asked the Sovereign. 95 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,667 "But this," answered the English master "is not a speck, 96 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,750 but an infusorium." 97 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,417 "Is it alive?" the Sovereign then asked. 98 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:59,250 "Oh no," answered the English master, "it's not alive. 99 00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:01,792 But it has been forged out of pure English steel 100 00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:04,542 in the image of a flea, by ourselves, 101 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,792 and in the middle of it are works and a spring. 102 00:08:07,917 --> 00:08:10,125 Be kind enough to turn the key 103 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:13,917 and it'll do a dance." 104 00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:17,583 "Ah - ah - ah!" said the Sovereign curiously. 105 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,667 "Kindly look in the tinyscope." 106 00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:25,375 "Ah - ah - ah!" 107 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,917 "Ah - ah!" 108 00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:17,167 The Sovereign immediately ordered Platov 109 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:19,667 to give a million to the Englishmen in any money they liked. 110 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:24,292 Whether in silver five-kopek pieces, or in small banknotes. 111 00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:28,083 The Englishmen asked for silver 112 00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:31,667 as they were, they said, unfamiliar with banknotes. 113 00:09:33,792 --> 00:09:36,125 The Englishmen whispered 114 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:39,458 and showed another cunning trick of theirs: 115 00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,458 they had made a present of the flea, 116 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:44,575 but had brought no case for it, 117 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,617 because the case for it, said they, belonged to the Crown 118 00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:50,533 and as they were held to strict account for Crown property, 119 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:54,000 they could not make a gift of it even to the Sovereign. 120 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,083 Platov got into a great rage over this. 121 00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:59,283 "Why such rascality? 122 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,825 You have made a gift, and received a million for it, 123 00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,958 and that's still not enough for you! 124 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:08,792 The case always goes with every article!" 125 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,958 But the Sovereign said: "Stop that, please; 126 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,292 Don't spoil my politics. They have their own custom." 127 00:10:22,417 --> 00:10:24,083 and he asked the Englishmen, 128 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,750 "What is the value of this walnut, in which the flea is lodged?" 129 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:33,042 The Englishmen rated it at five thousand more. 130 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:35,583 The Sovereign ordered Platov to pay, 131 00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:39,917 and said to the English: "You are the finest craftsmen in the world 132 00:10:40,042 --> 00:10:42,208 and my people, in comparison with you, 133 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:45,125 can do nothing." 134 00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:03,875 Then Platov, without a word, slipped the tinyscope into his pocket, 135 00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:07,158 for, he thought, it should go with the other things 136 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,667 and, besides, there had been enough money taken from them as it was. 137 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:15,417 The remarkable flea of English blue steel 138 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:19,500 remained in Aleksandr Pavlovich's whalebone casket 139 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:24,083 until the Sovereign turned melancholy on account of military affairs 140 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,208 and died in Taganrog. 141 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,292 Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich did not at first 142 00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:43,083 pay any attention to the flea 143 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:49,500 because of the disturbances at his accession to the throne* [*The Decembrist Uprising in 1825.] 144 00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:17,583 Brave Russians and Russian soldiers. 145 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:22,450 Bravo, bravo! It's time to work, work! 146 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:26,700 We are Zanevsky-Nevsky soldiers. 147 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:30,917 The Tsar is kind enough to note. 148 00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:44,583 He will say to us courageous, To us courageous lads, 149 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:49,375 That we are just the right sort of fine young men! 150 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:53,583 Who here is from the highest rank? Who will fit that standard? 151 00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:57,583 Who will manage such excellence? Who will manage such stardom? 152 00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:13,250 "What rubbish is this 153 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:17,292 and why did my brother take such care of it? 154 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:21,750 Immediately find out where it has come from and what it means!" 155 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,450 They hurried to look through records and registers 156 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,833 but did not find any mention of it. 157 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:37,792 They began asking one person after another, but nobody knew anything about it. 158 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:45,408 Fortunately the Don Cossack Platov was still alive; 159 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:49,500 he was even then lying sadly on his couch and smoking his pipe. 160 00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:09,333 As soon as he heard that there was such an uproar in the palace 161 00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:12,950 he rose up from his couch, threw away his pipe 162 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,325 and appeared before the Sovereign wearing all his medals. 163 00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,708 "I was there," he said, "when it happened! 164 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:23,042 And this is what took place before my own eyes in England." 165 00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,042 "Bravo, bravo!" 166 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,167 "This is," said Platov, "Your Majesty, 167 00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:43,000 a delicate and interesting piece of work 168 00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:48,250 but we mustn't let our admiration get the better of us; 169 00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,908 we must submit it to Russian inspection. 170 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,667 Our masters in Tula are no worse than the English ones!" 171 00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:56,208 "Bravo, bravo! 172 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:59,292 That was well said, my brave old man," 173 00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:00,792 said the Sovereign. 174 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:03,583 "Surpass them!" 175 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:25,000 Ho, here's our General Platov! 176 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:32,125 Look, across the fields he rode. 177 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:39,208 Aye, across the fields he rode. 178 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:46,875 Aye, to visit Tula he rode. 179 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,833 Chief Master of the City of Tula Ivan Moskvin 180 00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,083 Gunsmith Lefty 181 00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:55,958 "This casket," said Platov, 182 00:16:56,083 --> 00:17:00,792 contains a masterfully-made English steel flea of fine work." 183 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,792 The Sovereign orders you, you cunning dogs, 184 00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:07,875 to surpass the English master artisans!" 185 00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:28,000 "What are we to do now, fellow Orthodox Christians?" 186 00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,250 The gunsmiths responded: 187 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:34,700 "The English nation also is not stupid, but even tolerably cunning, 188 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,708 and their art has much sensible contrivance. 189 00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:42,500 To beat them, we shall have to think long and hard. 190 00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:45,200 Leave us the flea, 191 00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,908 go home to your quiet Don and have a good rest, so the wounds 192 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,417 you received for your country may heal 193 00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:55,375 and when you go back through Tula, stop here and send for us: 194 00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:58,667 by that time, God willing, we shall have thought of something." 195 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,958 "All right, lads!" 196 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:49,167 In the smithy! In the smithy! 197 00:19:49,292 --> 00:19:53,833 In the smithy are young blacksmiths, In the smithy are young blacksmiths, 198 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,750 They are forging - are forging! They are forging - are forging! 199 00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:03,792 They are forging, and keep saying... They are forging and keep saying... 200 00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:08,958 Come on, Dunya, let's go! Come on, Dunya, let's go! 201 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:14,958 Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood! Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood! 202 00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:43,208 Gunsmith Lefty 203 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,617 The Cossacks got the roof off but were knocked off their feet themselves 204 00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:26,958 for the gunsmiths, in their little closed room, 205 00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:28,783 had been working continuously 206 00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:32,625 in an atmosphere so thick and foul 207 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,667 that a man used to fresh air 208 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,750 couldn't stand a single whiff of it. 209 00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:41,783 "We're just knocking in the last nail, 210 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:45,167 and when that is in place, we'll bring out our work." 211 00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:15,167 "Hand it over!" commanded Platov. 212 00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:24,492 "What's the meaning of this?" asked Platov. 213 00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:26,875 "And where is your work?" 214 00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:30,917 "Our work's there as well," the gunsmiths answered. 215 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,583 "What sort of work have you done?" 216 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:36,750 "Why explain it? 217 00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:41,333 It's all there in front of your eyes. You have a good look at it." 218 00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:49,625 "You scoundrels haven't done anything, 219 00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:52,667 and you've probably spoilt the whole thing! 220 00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:56,625 I'll have your heads for this!" 221 00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:01,000 "Without cause do you thus abuse us." 222 00:23:07,292 --> 00:23:10,583 "You're lying, you scoundrels, 223 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:13,625 but I'm not letting you go like that. 224 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:18,000 You can sit there like a poodle all the way to St. Petersburg." 225 00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:27,250 How can you take him from us thus without a passport? 226 00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:30,083 He will not be able to come back! 227 00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:34,042 "Here's a passport for you!" 228 00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,542 "Off you go, lads." 229 00:23:49,125 --> 00:23:53,042 "Ah! He was such a good master." 230 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:20,292 "And what did my Tula craftsmen do 231 00:25:20,417 --> 00:25:23,375 that's better than the English infusorium?" 232 00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:24,917 asked the Sovereign. 233 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,625 "How dare you deceive the Sovereign?" 234 00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:10,583 "Wanted to surpass the English masters!" 235 00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:12,450 "What does this mean, my good man, 236 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:15,033 that we've looked it over this way and that 237 00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:19,200 and could find nothing noteworthy?" asked the Sovereign. 238 00:26:19,292 --> 00:26:23,000 "That way, Your Majesty, it is impossible to see anything, 239 00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:27,167 because our work, for a tinyscope of that size, 240 00:26:27,292 --> 00:26:31,708 is far too secret," answered Lefty. 241 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:43,083 "Please look." 242 00:26:51,917 --> 00:26:54,792 "Take a look, if you please, why, the rogues 243 00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:58,417 have shod the English flea with horse-shoes!" 244 00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:21,542 "Is your name there, too?" asked the Sovereign. 245 00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:26,458 "Not at all," said Lefty, "mine's the only one that isn't there." 246 00:27:26,583 --> 00:27:28,417 "Why?" asked the Sovereign. 247 00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:31,167 "Because," said Lefty, 248 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,992 "my work was smaller than those shoes: 249 00:27:34,083 --> 00:27:36,908 I forged the tiny nails with which the shoes are fastened on. 250 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,950 That's something you can't see with any tinyscope." 251 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,908 "Where is your tinyscope with which you could 252 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,533 produce such a marvel?" asked the Sovereign. 253 00:27:45,625 --> 00:27:47,417 "We are poor people, 254 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,492 and due to our poverty we have no tinyscope, 255 00:27:50,542 --> 00:27:53,667 but our eyes are trained to the work." 256 00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:59,333 "Please look." 257 00:29:01,875 --> 00:29:06,617 The Sovereign ordered that the shod infusorium be immediately packed up 258 00:29:06,667 --> 00:29:09,867 and sent back to England as a sort of gift 259 00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:13,783 so that they might understand there that it didn't impress us. 260 00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:17,542 And the Sovereign ordered that a special Courier should carry the flea, 261 00:29:17,667 --> 00:29:21,500 and that Lefty should go with him. 262 00:29:22,542 --> 00:29:25,417 [Don't drink too little, Don't drink too much, But drink in moderation.] 263 00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:33,125 Along the river Along the way to Kazanka, 264 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:37,250 The gray drake swims. 265 00:29:37,417 --> 00:29:41,333 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 266 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:45,667 The gray drake swims. 267 00:29:57,958 --> 00:30:01,750 Along the banks and along the broad coast 268 00:30:01,875 --> 00:30:05,667 The good fellow goes! 269 00:30:05,833 --> 00:30:09,583 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 270 00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:13,667 The good fellow goes! 271 00:30:21,292 --> 00:30:25,125 He had curls, He had fair hair 272 00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:29,333 The lad spoke: 273 00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:33,542 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 274 00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:37,750 The lad spoke. 275 00:30:53,375 --> 00:30:56,667 "Good work," said the English artisans, 276 00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:59,583 "subtly done, with vision." 277 00:31:05,542 --> 00:31:09,033 The Englishmen began to clap Lefty on the shoulder, slap-slap, 278 00:31:09,083 --> 00:31:11,083 and shook hands with him as an equal, 279 00:31:11,208 --> 00:31:13,417 "Comrade," they said, "comrade - fine craftsman. 280 00:31:13,542 --> 00:31:15,083 Let's have a drink!" 281 00:31:25,958 --> 00:31:30,083 "Comrade, stay here with us. We'll give you a good education 282 00:31:30,375 --> 00:31:34,208 and you'll become a wonderful craftsman." 283 00:31:41,042 --> 00:31:45,000 The English went to show Lefty their factories 284 00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:48,000 and their skill in making things. 285 00:32:02,417 --> 00:32:06,750 Lefty wasn't so interested in the way they made new muskets 286 00:32:06,833 --> 00:32:08,917 "We can make them as well as that." 287 00:32:09,042 --> 00:32:13,083 as he was in the condition of the old ones. 288 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,417 [Past their use. Written off] 289 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,833 Whenever he came across an old musket he'd stick his finger in the muzzle, 290 00:32:20,958 --> 00:32:24,292 run it round the walls of the barrel and say: 291 00:32:25,083 --> 00:32:30,792 "Oh, the English do not clean their guns with bricks." 292 00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:44,167 [Pounded Bricks for Cleaning Guns] 293 00:32:44,667 --> 00:32:47,083 [Past their use. Written off] 294 00:32:47,167 --> 00:32:52,833 "That", he said, "beats ours by a long shot." 295 00:33:00,042 --> 00:33:02,667 "Comrade, comrade! 296 00:33:02,792 --> 00:33:05,167 Stay with us. 297 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,542 "You'll get used to it," they said, 298 00:33:07,667 --> 00:33:12,250 "accept our faith and we'll find you a wife." 299 00:33:25,542 --> 00:33:29,250 "If you want, we'll arrange a rendezvous for you." 300 00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:33,917 "Why", said Lefty, "trouble the girls for nothing? 301 00:33:34,083 --> 00:33:37,533 A rendezvous is for gentlemen and doesn't become us. 302 00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:39,958 This can never be. 303 00:33:40,042 --> 00:33:42,667 We are committed to our Motherland and 304 00:33:42,792 --> 00:33:46,333 our Russian faith is the true faith." 305 00:35:00,833 --> 00:35:05,583 "Comrade, comrade! Stay with us." 306 00:35:08,208 --> 00:35:11,000 "I thank you humbly for your hospitality, 307 00:35:11,167 --> 00:35:13,158 I've been very pleased with everything 308 00:35:13,250 --> 00:35:16,875 but now I want to get home." 309 00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:34,917 [Duroterranean Sea]* *North Sea 310 00:35:52,667 --> 00:35:56,958 "Where is our Russia?" Lefty asked. 311 00:36:24,333 --> 00:36:28,750 "Good boy, Russ! Let's have a drink," said the skipper's mate. 312 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,708 And then he asked: 313 00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:34,833 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 314 00:36:35,333 --> 00:36:38,167 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 315 00:36:38,292 --> 00:36:42,292 "If it's that way," said the mate, "then let's make a bet, English fashion." 316 00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:45,750 "How?" asked Lefty. "We bet never to drink alone 317 00:36:45,875 --> 00:36:49,500 but always together and the same drink; 318 00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:52,667 and whoever outdrinks the other wins the bet." 319 00:36:56,292 --> 00:37:00,167 Lefty thought to himself, "the sky's cloudy, my belly's rowdy, 320 00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:03,500 I'm bored to death, there's a long way left, 321 00:37:03,625 --> 00:37:06,333 the bet'll make me cheer up a bit." 322 00:37:06,917 --> 00:37:08,833 "All right, it's a go." 323 00:37:13,417 --> 00:37:18,500 [Riga Dunamunde] 324 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:43,367 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 325 00:37:43,458 --> 00:37:45,958 asked the skipper's mate. 326 00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:50,167 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 327 00:38:02,333 --> 00:38:04,875 "Cross yourself and turn away, 328 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,792 there's a black devil rising out of the deep." 329 00:38:07,917 --> 00:38:11,875 "No! He's a red and watery-eyed sea-puss." 330 00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,500 "No, a black storm-devil." 331 00:38:22,333 --> 00:38:24,792 "No, red and watery-eyed." 332 00:38:39,667 --> 00:38:43,500 [St. Petersburg] 333 00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:53,208 From then on, Lefty and the skipper's mate 334 00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:56,250 suffered greatly different fates. 335 00:38:56,542 --> 00:39:02,292 The Englishman was taken to the English Embassy on the English Quay, 336 00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:07,333 but Lefty was asked, "who are you and where have you come from? 337 00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:11,375 Have you got a passport or any other document?" 338 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:14,917 "Take him to the hospital!" ordered the policeman. 339 00:39:31,083 --> 00:39:35,375 They took him to one hospital but they wouldn't accept him without a passport, 340 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:38,667 so they took him to a second, where they wouldn't accept him either, 341 00:39:38,792 --> 00:39:42,250 then a third and a fourth 342 00:39:42,375 --> 00:39:47,625 and so they kept on until morning, dragging him round all the distant alleys 343 00:39:47,875 --> 00:39:50,750 until he was beaten all black and blue. 344 00:39:51,167 --> 00:39:56,042 The skipper's mate, meanwhile, was lying in a warm bath in the Embassy. 345 00:39:56,167 --> 00:40:01,000 The apothecary there and then rolled a pill and put it in his mouth. 346 00:40:13,750 --> 00:40:18,167 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 347 00:40:20,917 --> 00:40:23,375 The policeman took Lefty 348 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:26,417 to the Obuhov People's Hospital 349 00:40:26,583 --> 00:40:31,583 where all people of unknown origin were allowed in to die. 350 00:40:44,833 --> 00:40:48,667 OBUHOV PEOPLE'S HOSPITAL 351 00:41:55,792 --> 00:41:59,742 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 352 00:41:59,833 --> 00:42:02,250 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 353 00:42:02,333 --> 00:42:07,833 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 354 00:42:08,583 --> 00:42:13,042 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 355 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:34,292 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 356 00:42:34,417 --> 00:42:37,458 we shouldn't clean them that way, either." 357 00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:57,367 "The English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 358 00:42:57,458 --> 00:42:59,417 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 359 00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:04,117 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 360 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:06,250 "And who are you?! 361 00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,408 Keep your nose out of what doesn't concern you - 362 00:43:08,458 --> 00:43:11,792 there are generals in Russia for that!" 363 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,333 All this is now "a matter of bygone days," 364 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:50,000 Lefty's real name, 365 00:43:50,125 --> 00:43:53,542 like the names of many of the greatest geniuses, 366 00:43:53,667 --> 00:43:57,042 is forever lost to posterity; 367 00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:02,750 but as a myth personified by popular fantasy, 368 00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:05,333 he is remembered by us now 369 00:44:05,458 --> 00:44:09,292 with great pride and love. 370 00:44:09,417 --> 00:44:12,408 [Tula city] THE END 371 00:44:12,458 --> 00:44:14,200 Subs by Eus, Pepi (2018) & Niffiwan (2021), based on Rus. subs by Bornik, 372 00:44:14,250 --> 00:44:16,417 and on the translations by Isabel F. Hapgood (1890) & George H. Hanna (1958)