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CONTRACT
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Based on the short story by Robert
Silverberg ("Company Store", 1959)
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And they told me this planet
was uninhabited...
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"Nothing very dangerous"
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Pardon me, sir,
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May I offer you this
Force-Field Generator?
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Turn it on!
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I can't give you anything but love, baby
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Permit me to introduce myself, sir...
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I am QBF-41, a new model of
space-travelling sales robot.
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Thanks, my friend!
If not for you...
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My firm's representatives assured me
that this planet was uninhabited.
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Actually, those creatures are
not native to this land.
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Then how'd they get here?
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Through my direct action, sir.
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Are you kidding?
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A sales robot's hardware lacks
a sense-of-humor module.
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In its place I have one extra
module of pol...
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Politeness... politeness... politeness...
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Diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell, baby
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Till that lucky day you know darned well, baby
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They almost ate me!
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But as you likely noticed sir, I had
the situation fully under control,
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Under control?!
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And I intervened when
matters became serious.
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Get out of here!
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Go on!
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Take your damn shield and go away!
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As you wish, sir...
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At your service... delighted to
have met you, very sorry, etc., etc.
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"Matter-Transmitter. Handle with care.
Install immediately"
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"All necessities of life will be sent
via matter-transmitter without cost"
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Uh-huh...
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The Earth Office greets you and
congratulates you on your arrival.
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Would you care to make
your first order now?
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Well, I haven't even unpacked,
you know, but...
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But... yes!
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Send me some razor blades
and shaving cream, would you?
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Okay... okay...
The company sends its best wishes.
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Pardon me, sir.
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I carry a first-rate depilating paste:
"Gloglam"
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I told you to go away. Did you hear me?
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Go away!
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Smooth skin! Thorough disinfection!
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Twelve units! Only for...
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No. No, and... no!
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I'll soon get my goods from Terra,
absolutely free. Beat it!
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Tell you what...
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I'll take the liberty of also
offering you a free sample!
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- Beat it!
- Free!
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Beat it, beat it!
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Hmm...
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Are you satisfied, sir?
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Your stuff really is... first-rate
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How many tubes will you take?
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For now, one tube.
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Here you are!
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Your machine has a shipment for you, sir!
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"Razor blades, as ordered..."
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"Shaving cream..."
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"Charge for transportation..."
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"50..."
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Hello. The Company congratulates
you on your first purchase!
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Excuse me, but... you've sent me
razor blades... and a bill...
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"Charge for transportation - 50
Interplanetary Units"!
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50?!
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Yes, 50.
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But I was told that you'd ship
my supplies out free of charge.
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Free of charge!
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...on the company's account.
It's the main article in the contract!
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The contract says:
"all necessities of life".
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It makes no mention of free
supply of luxuries
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The Company would go bankrupt if it began
satisfying all the whims of the colonists.
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Whims?! I need to shave, don't I?
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Not necessarily. Let your beard grow,
it'll look good on you!
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Never! Take these damned things
back and cancel the requisition.
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By the way, some trading robot
wandered through here...
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...and sold me a tube of depilating paste.
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So, if you please, pay him!
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You must immediately
cancel that purchase!
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Purchasing supplies from anyone but the
Company is a gross violation of your contract!
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It makes you subject to heavy penalty!
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Why, that's... that's pure fraud!
Thievery! Slavery!
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You hereby receive a caution
for slandering the Company!
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Hear that, friend? Sorry.
You saw everything.
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I got caught in a trap.
I have no money to pay.
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Well, well, well...
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It's okay!
Just take it, don't bother about the money.
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You need to shave the rest of
your face, don't you?
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Sales Robot QBF-41
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You hereby receive a caution
for violating the sales rules
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Yeah...
I'd say you're on the hook, too!
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You hereby receive a second caution for
collaborating with a rival company!
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You hereby receive a second caution for
accepting a rival company's services.
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Hey, dude. Now we're even!
The score is 2:2
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Oh, no. This the end... the end...
sense of humor, this is the end
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They don't forgive anyone for it.
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Disconnecting you from the power supply.
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In accordance with the terms of the Contract...
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Oh yeah?!... Take that!
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"Emergency Power Supply Unit.
Open only as a last resort."
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Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell,
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Diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell,
A-la-la-la-la...
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Can't give you anything, anything...
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...but la-la-la-la-la-la-la
la-la-love...
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Can't give you...
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...anything but love.
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Mama...
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That's the only thing
pops got plenty of!
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Dream a while, scheme a while,
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We're sure to find,
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Happiness, and I guess
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(All those things you've always pined for)
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Well, I can see you're looking sharp!
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You're crazy! Your circuits will
burn out! You...
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You will be out of commission!
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Not to worry, not to worry.
I can endure. I'm made of steel.
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Nevertheless, I fear for you!
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Don't worry. I've installed an
extra switch in myself.
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So, every so often,
I will switch off... like a fridge!
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That was a good joke, wasn't it?
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All this... all this...
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I'm all shook up!
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Can't give you anything,
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Anything but love, yeah!...
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Oh yes, thank you folks!
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screenwriter Viktor Slavkin
director Vladimir Tarason
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art director Nikolay Koshkin
camera Kabul Rasulov
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sound Vladimir Kutuov
ass. director T. Mititello
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animators Aleksandr Mazayev,
Yuriy Kuzyurin, Aleksey Bukin,
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Yuriy Kulakov, Tenno-pent So'oster
backgrounds Irina Sobyakina, Svetlana Davydova
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montage Margarita Miheyeva
script editor Yelena Nikitkina
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voices Aleksandr Kaydanovskiy (colonist)
Yevgeniy Steblov (QBF-41)
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Boris Ivanov (company rep)
Vasiliy Livanov (alien company rep)
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THE END
subs by Niffiwan, Eus, Алекс Кэрролл