1
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Creative Association "Ekran",
Gosteleradio USSR, 1988

2
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December 32

3
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From a strange and unknown platform
On a never-ending trip

4
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Left a train that was a bit odd,
Or perhaps more than a bit.

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00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:26,710
[50 km to the New Year]

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00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:30,190
It rides on Creation's railway,
Where it's going, none can guess -

7
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This train carrying the label
"20th Century Express".

8
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:41,040
Riding on this train, you know,
Is no simple story.

9
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,530
Each day, in this hurrying,
Some mess will get one worrying.

10
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,080
Yet, it would be misguided,
Believe me, quite misguided,

11
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:56,050
For small trifles to incite
Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.

12
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,840
There's one thought that keeps me troubled
And keeps me from sleep, to wit:

13
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,530
That we all seem just a little
Like insane folk - just a bit.

14
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Meetings, quarrels, separations,
Bitter tears and joyful bliss.

15
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,500
This train carrying the label

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[Happy New Year!]
"20th Century Express".

17
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,215
Riding on this train, you know,
Is no simple story.

18
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:31,050
Each day, in this hurrying,
Some mess will get one worrying.

19
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:35,490
Yet, it would be misguided,
Believe me, quite misguided,

20
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:41,270
For small trifles to incite
Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.

21
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,000
Try to live without such quarrels,
Don't dwell on them, and forget

22
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:52,820
That this train is a bit odd,
Or perhaps more than a bit.

23
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,900
Let the time-table be broken,
Always faster, never less,

24
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,330
By this train that has the label
"20th Century Express".

25
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,370
Riding on this train, you know,
Is no simple story.

26
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:16,000
Each day, in this hurrying,
Some mess will get one worrying.

27
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,910
Yet, it would be misguided,
Believe me, quite misguided,

28
00:03:20,011 --> 00:03:20,961
[Happy New Year!]

29
00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:26,300
For small trifles to incite
Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.

30
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,800
Even in a year
It would be hard to tally

31
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How much I got done today,
How much was brewing:

32
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Dicing up, and washing up, and cleaning,

33
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Cooking up, and mending, and redoing!

34
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:06,600
Even in a year,
it would be hard to tally

35
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:11,600
Just how much
I laboured, how all day I scurried,

36
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I did not sit even for a second.

37
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I ran, I attended, and I hurried!

38
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,300
And although perhaps you won't believe it,

39
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Not a single bit of
fluff remained upon me.

40
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Inside the red-hot oven
This duck's been this whole day,

41
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And I have neither, I have neither
Down nor feathers grey.

42
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Inside the red-hot oven
The duck's been this whole day,

43
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And she has neither, she has neither
Down nor feathers grey.

44
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Like in a sauna, on a bench
She's burning up...  - I'm smothered...

45
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- With caviar.
- No, with a crust.

46
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- With caviar.  - No, with a ruddy
crust I'm getting covered.

47
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:06,660
Our awful fate, our awful fate
Was quite beyond the pale.

48
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:08,200
They plucked us from the water wet...

49
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Us, too, they plucked from water wet,
Yes - plucked us from the water wet...

50
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,330
...and tore off every scale!

51
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,510
Can you imagine such details?
They tore them off, all of my scales.

52
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They tore yours off, they tore mine off,
They tore off all our scales.

53
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Without your scales, don't you look bleak?
Even a mute would start to speak.

54
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Bacon!

55
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:30,950
Hey, what's this fuss you're making?

56
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I want to lie in peace and quiet
Because I'm tired and aching.

57
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:38,200
You're tired, you say? I've been
rebuked (mrr-meow)

58
00:06:38,351 --> 00:06:41,301
Due to that fish forsaken!

59
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:46,300
And I don't even relish fish,
But I do love good bacon.

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Good fatty, greasy bacon,
That says it's tired and aching.

61
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:58,480
There, all done.
It's time to go and get the dishes.

62
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There, all done.
It's time to set the tablecloth.

63
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,500
Hey, shoo, you get away!

64
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:07,150
Get lost! Get lost!
Get lost! Get lost!

65
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,740
You rogue! You spy!
You shameless thief!

66
00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:10,991
Where is my husband roaming still?

67
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,060
Where is my husband roaming still?

68
00:07:15,511 --> 00:07:17,761
Where is my husband roaming still?

69
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,550
Where have you been roaming?
Couldn't you come faster?

70
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I was trying to finish
Everything you asked for.

71
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,200
Everything I asked for?

72
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,801
Everything you asked for.

73
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:44,230
Thanks a lot, for
"everything I asked for"!

74
00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,600
So then, what's the matter?
Something still not fine?

75
00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:49,170
Here is what's the matter:
I'm sick of your lying!

76
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Lying? What lying?
I don't understand you!

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[Happy New Year!]

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Sending love, keen longing,
Hugs most tender.

79
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Your seductive kisses I remember.

80
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A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion
Were our meetings in those hills Caucasian.

81
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:08,480
A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion
Were your meetings in those hills Caucasian!

82
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:10,820
- Oh, our meetings?...
- Yes, your meetings!

83
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- I am left completely speechless...

84
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SALT

85
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You are left completely speechless!

86
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,250
Sure, it's easier to be silent!

87
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Of our trust a violation,
This southern association!

88
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,200
Enough, I'm done here!
All those years for nought.

89
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,700
Enough, I'm done here!
I will not say this again.

90
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,450
Especially since
You and I are antipodes.

91
00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:38,450
Yes, yes, yes,
You and I are antipodes

92
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,980
In the zodiac of Japan!

93
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,380
You try to confuse things.
A laughable effort.

94
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,920
Well, what do you want here,
You pestering man?

95
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:50,600
Why speak of some zodiac
When this is a postcard?

96
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:54,880
And isn't its sender not from Japan?

97
00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:57,380
My efforts are fruitless,
My words fall on deaf ears.

98
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Let's split our lives' course,
Let's get a divorce.

99
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- You are a monkey that...
- I am a monkey?!

100
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You are a monkey that has
No common tongue with a horse.

101
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- I am a monkey?!
- Yes, you are a monkey!

102
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You listen to what I am saying, again:

103
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I'm a horse, a horse and you are a monkey
in the zodiac of Japan.

104
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So, I am a Japanese monkey, huh?!

105
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,810
No, you'll never get me,
That's just how you are!

106
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[Year of the Horse]
[Welcome!]

107
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[Year of the Goat]

108
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[Year of the Monkey]

109
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[Year of the Rooster]

110
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:52,910
Dear horse that stands before me,
I'm afraid you are the reason

111
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For a situation that has
Never happened once before.

112
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Oh, these men, they are so awful!
Oh, these men, they are so vile!

113
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,180
It is better if we stop with
All of this quite useless talk.

114
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:10,140
Well... dear horse that stands before me,
The sure death of all Creation

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Can occur in one quick instant
From some trifle very small.

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Oh, these men, they are so awful!
Oh, these men, they are so vile!

117
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:21,030
Why are we required to suffer
From some trifle very small?

118
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,380
[8 km to the New Year]

119
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,820
- Now listen here, horse!
- I'm not going to listen.

120
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,140
So maybe your husband's
Aggrieved you somehow.

121
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Aggrieved me. And what's more,
Without any reason.

122
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Mm... yes...

123
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,040
But why should all other men
Share in the blame?

124
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:44,300
And why should the women
And kids be found guilty?

125
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And all of the others
Who ride on the train?

126
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,020
What am I to tell them?
How shall I explain?

127
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:54,180
I waited for him
The whole festive evening.

128
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:57,920
No, I will not ever
Forget about that!

129
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:02,420
I tell you, the planets
Will forsake their orbits,

130
00:14:02,521 --> 00:14:05,821
The heavens will crack
And collapse into nothing!

131
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:09,060
He's ever the rude one
But only to myself -

132
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:12,880
To others, he's wonderful,
Worldly and gallant.

133
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:22,540
Already the galaxies' axes are bending,
And time has distinctly revised its momentum.

134
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:27,110
No, when he does want to,
He can be well-mannered.

135
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:35,350
- Dear horse that stands before me!
- I'm not a horse at all.

136
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,230
I suppose that it was really
Just a graphic turn of phrase.

137
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:44,000
But my spouse, that no-good husband,
He should just, that no-good husband,

138
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,901
Kiss me now...

139
00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:52,240
So that time
Would continue as it was.

140
00:15:12,191 --> 00:15:13,191
Director & writer
Vladimir Samsonov

141
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,340
Try to live without such quarrels,
Don't dwell on them, and forget

142
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:21,040
That this train is a bit odd,
Or perhaps more than a bit.

143
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,600
Let the time-table be broken,
Always faster, never less,

144
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:32,260
By this train that has the label
"20th Century Express".

145
00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:39,280
Riding on this train, you know,
Is no simple story.

146
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,520
Each day, in this hurrying,
Some mess will get one worrying.

147
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:47,930
Yet, it would be misguided,
Believe me, quite misguided,

148
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:53,060
For small trifles to incite
Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.

149
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:56,570
Yet, it would be misguided,
Believe me, quite misguided,

150
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,010
[New Year]

151
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:02,620
For small trifles to incite
Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.

152
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,910
Happy New Year!

153
00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,850
THE END

154
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,751
Subs: Niffiwan, Lemicnor, Vlad Vlad, Eus
Aug 2018 - Dec 2022