Creative Association "Ekran", Gosteleradio USSR, 1988
December 32
From a strange and unknown platform On a never-ending trip
Left a train that was a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
[50 km to the New Year]
It rides on Creation's railway, Where it's going, none can guess -
This train carrying the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train, you know, Is no simple story.
Each day, in this hurrying, Some mess will get one worrying.
Yet, it would be misguided, Believe me, quite misguided,
For small trifles to incite Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.
There's one thought that keeps me troubled And keeps me from sleep, to wit:
That we all seem just a little Like insane folk - just a bit.
Meetings, quarrels, separations, Bitter tears and joyful bliss.
This train carrying the label
[Happy New Year!] "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train, you know, Is no simple story.
Each day, in this hurrying, Some mess will get one worrying.
Yet, it would be misguided, Believe me, quite misguided,
For small trifles to incite Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.
Try to live without such quarrels, Don't dwell on them, and forget
That this train is a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
Let the time-table be broken, Always faster, never less,
By this train that has the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train, you know, Is no simple story.
Each day, in this hurrying, Some mess will get one worrying.
Yet, it would be misguided, Believe me, quite misguided,
[Happy New Year!]
For small trifles to incite Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.
Even in a year It would be hard to tally
How much I got done today, How much was brewing:
Dicing up, and washing up, and cleaning,
Cooking up, and mending, and redoing!
Even in a year, it would be hard to tally
Just how much I laboured, how all day I scurried,
I did not sit even for a second.
I ran, I attended, and I hurried!
And although perhaps you won't believe it,
Not a single bit of fluff remained upon me.
Inside the red-hot oven This duck's been this whole day,
And I have neither, I have neither Down nor feathers grey.
Inside the red-hot oven The duck's been this whole day,
And she has neither, she has neither Down nor feathers grey.
Like in a sauna, on a bench She's burning up... - I'm smothered...
- With caviar. - No, with a crust.
- With caviar. - No, with a ruddy crust I'm getting covered.
Our awful fate, our awful fate Was quite beyond the pale.
They plucked us from the water wet...
Us, too, they plucked from water wet, Yes - plucked us from the water wet...
...and tore off every scale!
Can you imagine such details? They tore them off, all of my scales.
They tore yours off, they tore mine off, They tore off all our scales.
Without your scales, don't you look bleak? Even a mute would start to speak.
Bacon!
Hey, what's this fuss you're making?
I want to lie in peace and quiet Because I'm tired and aching.
You're tired, you say? I've been rebuked (mrr-meow)
Due to that fish forsaken!
And I don't even relish fish, But I do love good bacon.
Good fatty, greasy bacon, That says it's tired and aching.
There, all done. It's time to go and get the dishes.
There, all done. It's time to set the tablecloth.
Hey, shoo, you get away!
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
You rogue! You spy! You shameless thief!
Where is my husband roaming still?
Where have you been roaming? Couldn't you come faster?
I was trying to finish Everything you asked for.
Everything I asked for?
Everything you asked for.
Thanks a lot, for "everything I asked for"!
So then, what's the matter? Something still not fine?
Here is what's the matter: I'm sick of your lying!
Lying? What lying? I don't understand you!
[Happy New Year!]
Sending love, keen longing, Hugs most tender.
Your seductive kisses I remember.
A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion Were our meetings in those hills Caucasian.
A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion Were your meetings in those hills Caucasian!
- Oh, our meetings?... - Yes, your meetings!
- I am left completely speechless...
SALT
You are left completely speechless!
Sure, it's easier to be silent!
Of our trust a violation, This southern association!
Enough, I'm done here! All those years for nought.
Enough, I'm done here! I will not say this again.
Especially since You and I are antipodes.
Yes, yes, yes, You and I are antipodes
In the zodiac of Japan!
You try to confuse things. A laughable effort.
Well, what do you want here, You pestering man?
Why speak of some zodiac When this is a postcard?
And isn't its sender not from Japan?
My efforts are fruitless, My words fall on deaf ears.
Let's split our lives' course, Let's get a divorce.
- You are a monkey that... - I am a monkey?!
You are a monkey that has No common tongue with a horse.
- I am a monkey?! - Yes, you are a monkey!
You listen to what I am saying, again:
I'm a horse, a horse and you are a monkey in the zodiac of Japan.
So, I am a Japanese monkey, huh?!
No, you'll never get me, That's just how you are!
[Year of the Horse] [Welcome!]
[Year of the Goat]
[Year of the Monkey]
[Year of the Rooster]
Dear horse that stands before me, I'm afraid you are the reason
For a situation that has Never happened once before.
Oh, these men, they are so awful! Oh, these men, they are so vile!
It is better if we stop with All of this quite useless talk.
Well... dear horse that stands before me, The sure death of all Creation
Can occur in one quick instant From some trifle very small.
Oh, these men, they are so awful! Oh, these men, they are so vile!
Why are we required to suffer From some trifle very small?
[8 km to the New Year]
- Now listen here, horse! - I'm not going to listen.
So maybe your husband's Aggrieved you somehow.
Aggrieved me. And what's more, Without any reason.
Mm... yes...
But why should all other men Share in the blame?
And why should the women And kids be found guilty?
And all of the others Who ride on the train?
What am I to tell them? How shall I explain?
I waited for him The whole festive evening.
No, I will not ever Forget about that!
I tell you, the planets Will forsake their orbits,
The heavens will crack And collapse into nothing!
He's ever the rude one But only to myself -
To others, he's wonderful, Worldly and gallant.
Already the galaxies' axes are bending, And time has distinctly revised its momentum.
No, when he does want to, He can be well-mannered.
- Dear horse that stands before me! - I'm not a horse at all.
I suppose that it was really Just a graphic turn of phrase.
But my spouse, that no-good husband, He should just, that no-good husband,
Kiss me now...
So that time Would continue as it was.
Director & writer Vladimir Samsonov
Try to live without such quarrels, Don't dwell on them, and forget
That this train is a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
Let the time-table be broken, Always faster, never less,
By this train that has the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train, you know, Is no simple story.
Each day, in this hurrying, Some mess will get one worrying.
Yet, it would be misguided, Believe me, quite misguided,
For small trifles to incite Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.
Yet, it would be misguided, Believe me, quite misguided,
[New Year]
For small trifles to incite Quarreling, quarreling, quarreling.
Happy New Year!
THE END
Subs: Niffiwan, Lemicnor, Vlad Vlad, Eus Aug 2018 - Dec 2022